I'm Fine

A few years ago while out walking I met an old work colleague – he was a ‘stiff upper lip, pull yourself together’ sort of person who thought that people with a mental illness were either ‘lead swingers’ or homicidal maniacs.  After a brief exchange of greetings, we parted.  The following is a record of that exchange of words; and what I thought at the time, that meeting was my inspiration for ‘I’m Fine’.

I’m Fine

Hello Chris, you’re looking well, I thought you were ill!

Look into my eyes; see the countless private tears they have wept

See the overwhelming weariness, which makes my body ache

See the sleepless nights too many to remember

See the turmoil and pain which is my mind

Feel the moods so dark, so powerful they have substance                                                                                     

Feel the weight of thoughts so heavy they cannot move

Feel the blameless guilt and shame so undeniable

I want to shout SORRY‼ For what I don’t know

All of these hidden behind a thin veneer

A veneer of false happiness and well-being

These and so much more

Just the tip of the iceberg that is Depression

Should I say?  No, I’d better not.

Thank you, yes, I’m fine, how are you?

November 2008

Since that encounter in 2008, I have met many people who are prejudiced against those of us with mental illness.  As much, as I tried to explain to these people that mental illness is not particular in whom it attacks and that no one is immune from it.  There were very few who listened, which is why I joined Rethink and Time to Change Somerset, and one of the reasons I now work as a mental health advocate for Mind in Taunton and West Somerset.  If you think, you can help fight the stigma, prejudice and discrimination, which those with a mental illness have to face every day.  Then please join either a national or local mental health organisation, or both, so that your voice will be heard.

Thank You

Chris Rugg